I'm looking for words of encouragement, support, and to feel like attachment parenting is worth it. I've been subject to a few weeks of "noise" of people questioning my decision to cosleep, and it's starting to make me waver/doubt myself. I know I'm doing the right thing, and I need my AP community to cheer me on!
Penguin is 6 1/2 months old. He's teething. I'm recovering from gallbladder surgery. I had to spend two weeks out at my parents' house because I couldn't lift Penguin, so I couldn't care for him when Mr C was at work. During my stay with my parents, my mom gave me an nearly unending barrage of commentary against my cosleeping. I coslept anyway, once the stitches were healed enough for it to be safe, and once I was off pain meds. They were good about bringing him in to me, and helping manage him since I couldn't lift him or move anything over 5 pounds.
Now that I'm finally home, I have to admit I'm tempted to try to just "put him down in the crib" but I'm not a fan of CIO or Ferberizing. I don't think I'm "spoiling" him by nursing him to sleep, though, I would love it if I could just put him down and have him magically fall asleep on his own. But, I'm not there yet. I've read the No Cry Sleep Solution, and the Baby Whisperer. I think once I'm healed enough to be able to move him by myself without fear of hurting myself I might try it.
Are any of you successfully cosleeping for extended time? I've bedshared almost exclusively since he was born. There have been a few weeks when I could nurse him to sleep, and then transfer him to his crib (which is up against my bed, sidecar style). But, since he started teething, moving him just seems to wake him up. He doesn't sleep through the whole night yet. He wakes up to nurse usually at 10, 2, and 4 or 6. I love nursing. I love cosleeping. I love feeling connected and attached to my son.
I have a rough time lately when he's uncomfortable, teething, kicking in his sleep, and inconsolable. I find it hard to believe that dumping him in a crib and letting him cry it out is going to resolve any of those issues (aside from the waking me up with the kicking.) Nighttime is hard because I'm home alone with him at that time. Mr. C doesn't get home until after midnight, so the putting him down is my responsibility.
Any words of support? Stories of how it is all worth it? Reassurance that I'm not crazy?
You're definitely not crazy and as long as cosleeping/bedshareing continues to work for you, do it. If you find that it's not working for you (some babes sleep wildly, ruining everyone's night), then start thinking through other solutions. You don't have to be married to it just on principle, but don't let anyone guilt you out of it just the same. Parenting is a fluid process and always changing. Go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteWe've been cosleeping with our little one her entire life (nearly 13 months and counting!). We started off with a sidecar co-sleeper and snuggle nest combo, eventually ditching the snuggle nest, but still starting her in the cosleeper at night. It got to the point, though, that I was too lazy/tired to even move her the two feet back into the cosleeper after nursing and she just stayed in bed with us. When we moved into a new apartment at 4 months old, we didn't even set up the cosleeper. We just put it right into the closet and admitted that we were full-time bedsharers and we haven't looked back.
We get a lot of weird looks when people find out we all sleep together, but I've learned to own it. We were interested in cosleeping from the start, but never married to it and never planned on going full out Family Bed, yet here we are. We've considered transitioning her to the cosleeper as a crib, but when then we realize we're only considering it b/c we feel we "should"... not because bedsharing is no longer working.
Frankly, until (if) she starts to destroy our nights, we'll keep her nearby. I'm still nursing and she likes to eat at least once overnight. And on those nights when she's sick or teething or on the verge of a development or just being a crazy toddler, I much prefer having her next to me, able to soothe her in seconds, rather than wailing her face off from across the room.
I know that we'll eventually get her out of our bed and am not concerned with "spoiling her" or making that transition "even harder." I try to worry about the here and now in parenting. We may have a hard time getting her to sleep alone later, but we may have had just as hard a time doing it early. Or now. Or next week. We can't know, so why stress about hypotheticals? We'll tackle sleep issues as they arise and not before.
We're all sleeping well, as is, and that's what matters most.
p.s. Plenty of other cultures cosleep and don't find it weird at all. In fact, people in many other countries have to b/c they can't live the luxurious multi-bedroom lifestyle that Americans take for granted. And they all turn out just fine.
I co-slept with DS1 from birth-6yrs. Currently co-sleeping with DS2 from birth - now (13 months).
ReplyDeleteI GET SO MUCH MORE SLEEP! My children really never got separation anxiety.
I watched my twin sister do the crib thing, the CIO, all of it, and her relationship with her toddler is one of screaming/battles/etc.
You can't "spoil" a child. It's not as if they are refrigerated goods lol!